Along with sexual temptation, financial wisdom, identity and individuality, I'd say living under the submission of parents is one of the hardest challenges we as young adults will face. By ages 18-25 we want to make our own rules, and be free to ditch the ways of doing things that were forced upon us by our parents at younger ages.
Some young adults dont have this issue at all, some have exemplary relationships with their parents and love to live among them until it is their time to launch out. other young adults fear independance and love to be at home while others disagree with their parents on almost everything and can not wait to see the door!
This article is for the latter, for those who love thier parents dearly but just can not live with them for another year or they think they might just go mad!
First of all lets us acknowledge what the word of God says "Deuteronomy 5:16 "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
the word of God describes this commandment as "the first commandment with promise" (Eph 6:2) if you read through Exodus 20 you'll find that this is true.
I found this commandment the hardest because I actually had big problems with living alongside my parents.
We would argue all the time about all sorts of things, I felt restricted and frusrated, I felt like I was not heard at times and that made me bitter toward them. she felt as if i never talked to them about anything or spent anytime with them.
But praise God, we worked out our differences! not move out yet but at least i'll be able to live in peace and according to Gods word until i do!
steps to take to handle the situation
1) Acknowledge your own responsibility.
The bible instructs parents not to provoke their children to anger so they do not become discouraged (Eph 6:4). However your parents might not be saved, or they just might be extremely stubborn. Either way, whether our parents decide to do their bit or not, we must still do OUR bit! we must accept our own responsibility which is to honor them, whether they are right or wrong, whether they are polite about it or plain out of order we must treat them with love and respect. It is the hardest thing to do but once we understand why, we can see that it is worth it. By honoring our parents we honor God, by humbling ourselves under thier authority we become righteous. its not about who wins the argument or who gets their way, you may not get your way. The point is that God is glorified, simple. It's been MAD DIFFICULT But I know that God has been pleased with my submission.
2) learn to pray
the bible says in Zech 4:6 that "its not by might, its not by power, but its by my spirit thus sayeth the lord" we can not become humble without the power of the holy spirit. I have a lot of pride, this causes me to become puffed up when i'm in a conflict with my parents and that, for years is what had caused so much arguments in the home. i felt like it was my place to regulate my parents and get them to stop doing the things that annoyed me and get them to stop trying to "control" me. i didnt understand that they were the "authority" and i had no right to challenge them. i felt even more frustrated when i discovered i could not challenge them until i took the situation to prayer! God showed me through his word that even Jesus humbled himself under the goverment of Mary and Jospeh and did what they said until it was his time to branch out and look after himself. that set me straight and helped me tame my pride.
3) accept them for who they are
we cant change people and we cant select our parents, but what we can do is accept them for who they are. we can not change their habits or their flaws but we can learn to adapt and adjust to them so that we can live in peace and happiness.
4) love actively
once you come to these realisations, clearly its time to do more than just obey and abide but its time to show love. be a pleasure to be around, it helps. what i did was went and bought a little booklet called "coupons of love for mom" inside it were little coupons that say things like "this coupon entitles you to know where i am at all times" and "today you will have my undivided attention, talk to me" they also had little scriptures on the back, every now and then i'd tear one out and bring it to my mum in the morning with a cup of coffee. this changed things tremendously, i became SO humble by doing this. i was so vulnerable because sometimes my mother wouldnt recieve the coupons with love, i'd feel insulted sometimes and sometimes the flesh would try and stop me from bringing the coupon and the coffee upstairs because of pride. but I had to do it and discipline myself to love and honor my mother. 1 cor 13 explains the importance of showing love. its the foundations of everything.
God Bless. I hope this is a help to you :)
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